There’s been a lot of discussions about toxicity in relationships and friendships lately. Some of this has been centered around well-known pastors or your (2nd) favorite celebrity couple. Also, it’s the end of the year and we know there’s forever going to be memes and posts about what people are leaving in this year and aren’t bringing into the new year.
However, while we’re sitting around commenting on Cardi and the red flags in our life that we should have left two new years ago, we sometimes miss the trolls who are active in our life that we may need to leave or pause.
The Checking on You Troll
This is someone who you barely hear from and don’t really think about. You may have gone to college with them, be in the same organization, grew up with them, or used to work with them. You see them on social media. However, as soon as something happens (usually bad), you hear they are asking about you or calling to see what’s happening. Now there can be people who do this who are genuine BUT those people usually pop up when positive things happen as well and that’s the key. They also offer positive words and offer assistance in the bad time while the checking on you troll just wants details and to interject their ill-advised advice. BEWARE.
2. The Friends since Forever Troll
You know just like the rest of us that this person is problematic. You just keep them around because you have know them forever or they’re family. However, you don’t trust them and are annoyed when they are around if not even concerned. Just because someone has been dragging you down for forever, doesn’t mean that they should continue to do so. If you had a tumor for years and just discovered it, you wouldn’t say just let it stay. You’d try to get rid of it. Think about how much better things will get when you remove the toxicity.
Oooooh, did you not expect that. Changing ourselves can sometimes be the hardest thing to do. We see ourselves as someone who we need to accept. While we can have harsh critiques of ourselves to ourselves, we can often times get defensive when we show toxic traits that need to change. Don’t see yourself as “just how you are”, see yourself as someone who is constantly evolving and someone who can and will make mistakes. Allow yourself to be better from those mistakes. Your first step is admitting it. Leave at least one toxic behavior in the old year just like you are leaving other stuff.